If you can learn these early - you will be ahead of the game!
Read the article for the authors take on each of these life lessons - here’s mine
1. problems are bad
False. Problems are how we learn. Figuring your way out, getting out of your comfort zone. We get stronger, we learn things about our environment and ourselves that we might not have known. you know how they say when a door closes, a window opens? It’s true. Sometimes you lose something, like a job, so that something else better can come along. Life is full of problems, your job is to work them out.
2. it’s important to stay happy.
In the sense of being some kind of happy “machine’, no. It’s not. Happiness is a choice. so it’s a state of mind that you can attain, but sometimes it’s appropriate to NOT be happy. At times of sorrow, or times when you are experiencing some other emotion, you don’t HAVE to be happy. Your feelings will ebb and flow, they just shouldn’t rule your life, but you’re going to have them. And if you want to be happy - well then, be Happy.
3. i’m irreparably damaged by my past.
NEVER! You can always make a comeback! Awareness comes first and then you can take action to change your future.
4. working hard leads to success.
Not always… sometimes it just leads to being tired. If you work hard doing the wrong thing, you will not be successful simply because you were working hard.
5. success is the opposite of failure
No. more like Success comes from a willingness to fail. Keep trying at something and you will be successful; maybe after many failures, but eventually - Thomas Edison is a perfect example. He failed thousands of times before he proved his theories on electricity. He kept trying, failing, tweaking and persevering.
6. it matters what people think of me.
NOT AT ALL. NOT EVER.
7. we should think rationally about all our decisions.
Not always, sometimes your “gut” feeling isn’t based on rationale, and it is dead on right. (the author and I differ on this - I think it’s a blend of both)
8. the pretty girls get all the good stuff
Naah, look around. They get a lot of opportunity, but beauty is no guarantee of happiness or even of success. Ask pretty women and they will tell you that often it works to their disadvantage, they have to work harder to be taken seriously because they are often thought of as just beautiful and not smart. Nobody gets ALL the good stuff even if it looks like they do from the outside.
9. if all my wishes came true right now, life would be perfect
Haha. No such thing. That’s a fairy tale. So many things are out of our control. Take Steve Jobs. Had everything, Power, money, success - but it didn’t guarantee his health and he died early. All his fulfilled dreams and wishes didn’t make his life perfect.
10 loss is terrible
Loss is DIFFICULT. but it’s inevitable. Again, like failure and problems it’s something we all go through and something we learn from. You will SURVIVE the loss and something good comes from all loss. Even if you don’t see it immediately. some losses are so devastating that it’s difficult to see what good they could produce. Even after the worst tragedies. I think we just have to learn to live with the fact that we will all experience some sort of loss and live with passion, not paralyzed in fear of losing.
Don’t discover too late that you had something of joy and beauty at your fingertips, only to let it slip by, too afraid to “use it all up” or break it.-
I agree with this wholeheartedly! It was a lesson I learned while cleaning out the garage of my 80 yr old aunt and finding box after box of brand new items. perfume, sheets, knives, clothing, pretty nighties. I remember her always saving things for “some day”. That day in 1999, I realized that some day never comes and I started using the “good” silver every day. You’re worth it and some day never comes. Enjoy your things while you have them - stop saving your stickers (i’m guilty of this one still :-)…. i best get to decorating those envelopes i send with bills in them… and those netflix return envelopes!!!
fascinating online exhibition from the Schomburg Cetner for Research in Black Culture